Sometimes the World Feels Far Away

I was having a conversation with my husband over dinner. We got off on the topic of different blogs we read and found that we both read several blogs with some common topics, such as preparedness, homesteading, self-sufficiency and even survivalism. We have talked about things like this before. Naturally we have similar hopes and dreams, things like living more rurally, more independently, but I guess we really never talked too much about really specific things, because he mentioned a blog where some of the contributors were always talking about BoB's, or bug out bags, and I told him we have one, and he was surprised. No, we'd never discussed it, I just assumed he knew. I figured he'd want one. It made me feel a little bit silly, because he was talking about the bloggers as though they were just a little over the edge with the whole survivalist, bug out thing, and here I am setting one up!

All this got me thinking. I'm not some super qualified, weekend practitioner of survival skills and bug out emergency drills. Not that I wouldn't like to be. Actually, I'd love to. I just never have. I haven't made the time for it. It seemed like too much trouble, with kids and animals to contend with and with my husband's weird schedule. I haven't sat down and mapped out escape routes, or listed what I think are necessary items to have in my BoB, but, hey, it's my BoB, my interest, my weird preoccupation, so why not make it the subject of a few posts? Maybe I should dedicate a blog to it.

Many of my friends know that we're planning on moving to a more rural location someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, and living a quieter, more self-sustained lifestyle. I had actually planned to blog about our day to day life once we had more concrete plans laid, but maybe I should start now. I've noticed there are many blogs about moving out, about finding land, scoping out the area, setting up a rural lifestyle, caring for animals, small farms, you name it, but I don't think I've see many from people like me. I'm not doing much. I'm more than a dreamer, and more even than a serious wannabe. I am more than a future farmer or homesteader or whatever you want to call people who do these kinds of things now days. It's not just a plan, and it's not just a dream. I'm not fearful or planning an escape. It's who I am inside and where I live every day of my life at, I just have to live there in my head and my heart for now, doing all the things I mentioned, but kept only slightly out of sync with it in a physical way due only to my physical circumstances and absolutely no other reason.

I realize that sounds like an excuse. I know that technically qualifies me as a wannabe. I'm aware that a 'real' homesteader, or a 'real' survivalist would probably laugh at me. I can tell you, however, that if heart and spirit and attitude truly are the biggest things in ones life, I am what I want to be in my life minus the land. I think I am truly qualified to blog in my field. What's my field? I'm not sure what you call it... heart of a farmer, spirit of a gypsy, will of a warrior, all mixed in with what is currently known as a prepper, I suppose. That might make for interesting reading for someone else who is hemmed into a life uncomfortable and unfamiliar to their own spirit.

I am happy; very happy. I'm happier now than I've ever been. To be happy in my life and yet to strive for something else that is deep in my soul doesn't mean I'm discontent. They are two very different things to me, distinct and never touching one another at any place in my life. They are comfortable being side by side until they can co-exist someplace in my future.

So what do you think? Should I throw caution to the wind, inviting criticism from the 'real' gypsies and warriors of the world, and blog til my heart's content, or should I continue to stealthily change my world, hat in hand and head hanging down, ashamed of my lack of obvious forward motion?

Maybe I should just continue to plan to take over the world with my mad ninja skills.